There’s a Blessing in the Breaking

Screenshot_2014-09-04-13-42-34-1Of all the articles that I have written thus far, this one is the most sensitive to me. I feel this way because this is my personal testimony of my initial call for ministry service from God. Of all the pictures I have shared on my post, this one depicts me the most at that time.  I love this picture because four years ago I was this woman. I lived in a broken down home that was not my own, but it was the place that God led me, to take His yoke upon me and learn from him (Matt. 11:29). I lived in this place, but I did not own it nor was my name on a lease or contract. I was a temporary resident, living like a squatter. I never could have imaged that I would ever living in a place like this. I did come from a modest and humble beginning. I had a good job, I previously owned a home, a car, stock options, health insurance, etc., but when God had need of me, my life changed.

My new life started with me spending hours a day reading my Bible, seeking and searching, to know more about God. God chose this place as my training ground. Little did I know that this was where I would learn how to serve Him. My story reminds me of a few Bible stories that tell of how God called certain men out of their regular lives to serve Him. I’ll give you a few examples to help you understand the point that I’m making. Abram (Abraham) was told to leave his country and his family to go to a place he knew not of (Gen. 12:1). Joseph was cast into a pit, taken from his family, and was sold as a slave. He learned to be a humble servant and in spite of his difficulties he remained faithful to God. Eventually, this lead to Joseph becoming governor of the land (Gen. 37:23-30) . Moses’ life was also turned upside down. He was born a Hebrew, but was bought up as an Egyptian.  He lived in the palace and had the best training; only to become a murderer and a fugitive because of a moment of rage.  If you read Moses’ story you will see that he was driven from the palace into the wilderness in preparation to lead God’s people (Ex. 2). And let us not forget Noah. He was called to preach repentance and to build an ark in preparation for a flood that no one believed was coming (Gen. 6:13-14). These are the ways of God. He prepares you by taking away all of your preconceived notions of what you believe life is all about and He teaches you what the true value of life really consist of. He teaches you by Biblical examples of  things that are temporal verse the eternal. Only eternity is forever.

As I was spending my days in the presence of God, I learned of His ways. I learned to love, honor and respect Him, not as an invisible God, but as the Living God. Elohim, the All-Mighty, All-Sufficient Eternal One. I learned that He is more real than you and I. He spiritually manifested Himself and I saw God in the image of perfection through His love. I learned what my relationship to Him was about as a follower of Jesus Christ. I learn to depend on Him for everything, including having a roof over my head. Previously, I owned a home. I sold my home a few years prior to coming to live in this place. (Believe me this is another story, perhaps I’ll share that at a later date, of how my move came about.)  Anyway, my home sold in 4 days; it was listed on a Thursday and on the following Monday it was sold. God took care of every detail of this operation.

At a later date, in preparation for the ministry, I was led to different market places to witness about the love of God . I went to the park, I walked through the neighborhood, some times traveling by bus and on trains, wherever the Spirit led me I went. I told people of God’s goodness, I spoke about the love of Jesus and how He gave His life on the cross. I talked about salvation and I extended the invitation. I also kept my regular church attendance on Sunday mornings. I continued serving on the food pantry ministry of my church. I attended the women’s ministry meetings, and visited nursing home as assigned by my church’s assignment duties. During the holiday seasons I would volunteer to serve family dinners before or after church to clergy, staff, members and guest. Some members of my family knew of my situation, but my mother did not understand why I was putting myself through this. But I had to,  it was all a part of God’s plan for the ministry that He assigned me. I’m not saying that it was easy, it was difficult, painful, and at times I felt broken. It was during these times that I learned some of the great mysteries of God.

This is when my faith in God increased. It was in this place where I learn the cold hearts of my neighbors, who did not want me living near them because their property value was depreciating. I kept praying for them and they kept trying to drive me out. But they couldn’t because my stay was ordained by God. When God opens a door no man can close it. On several occasions my neighbor would pull pranks to try to make me leave.  The police even stop by a few times to see who was living in the house. I was so afraid to answer the door, thinking the day had come that I would be asked to leave. Would I be without a roof over my head? Would I be outside in the rain or snow, or at a homeless shelter? But each time the police came, after talking with me they would leave and I was allowed to stay. It was the strangest thing ever. It was in situations like this that I learned that God was in every detail of my life. It would have been nice if He would have shared this part of His plan with me, but then I would not have learned what walking by faith really meant. Each time my faith grew stronger. I knew that God was taking care of me. I knew that God had a better plan for me ahead. I had to endure to the next level. “That’s when I learned to dance in the midst of my troubles. Not only did I dance, but I also sang!”

All of this has prepared me for ministry today. It was a hard lesson to learn, but I’m still standing. I’m stronger and I’m no longer afraid. I know that God is with me forever and always. This lesson has taught me to trust God in everything that I do. He is the final authority in every situation. I will share the “in between” details of this story with you at a later date, but for now, thank you for reading one of the most difficult testimonies that I’ve ever given. God bless you.

Much love and many blessings,

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24 thoughts on “There’s a Blessing in the Breaking

  1. How raw and beautiful. Faith surely is developed in the tired, broken down places. I’m reminded of something that happened a week or so ago when my daughter said to me… Mom, I know you’re scared but this is a time that you need to have faith in God, not in yourself. My young lady was right and your words are falling upon open ears and a open heart. I believe it’s when we share our most vulnerable stories that we are at our strongest and that’s when God gets the glory. Love you as always. ❤️

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    1. I love that you said “It is when we share our most vulnerable stories that we are at our strongest and that’s when God gets the glory.” I believe that you are correct in stating that. Thank you Angel. I love you too, always and forever. 🙂

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  2. That was powerful Jeanie, thank you for sharing. It was humbling and encouraging. There is indeed strength in the breaking, the ultimate strength in fact.

    God doesn’t always open doors, but He does put them before us. But as a key must be ground down and made fine to fit perfectly in a lock, so we too are ground down and polished. We are the keys that open doors, but only after the Keymaster has prepared us.

    Bless you!

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  3. Wow… Jeanie! SiSTAR you’ve REALLY touch my heart with your testimony. I’m currently fasting from social media (Facebook, Instagram, Twitter) and today is actually my 1st day reading ANY blog posts from the blogosphere… I was randomly checking my email and as God would have it I came across your blog post in my inbox.

    God is indeed an AWESOME God and greatly to be praised!!!! Thank you so much for sharing your testimony… Somebody needed to read it and I’m one of those some(bodies). God is taking me to my next place and in order to seek his face and hear his voice the spirit kept saying: distractions had to be subtracted and I had to be removed from my comfort zone. I’m currently hearing from GOD like never before and it’s such a humbling experience!!!! Even in this blog post I know it’s NOT by accident that I read it… It’s simply amazing how his plan is not like ours and HE ALWAYS knows what’s best for US!!!!!

    Thanks again for sharing… I LOVE YOU with the LOVE of God and in Gods timing I’ll be back on social media! ~Until then just know it’s ALL GOD!!!!! *Peace and Blessings*

    Xoxo

    In His Love…
    Lynn of LA Lynn’s

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    1. Hi Lynn! You are a true blessing. I thank God for leading you to read my testimony. The blessing goes both ways. After I finished writing this article, I prepared to rest for the evening. I had doubts of publishing it because I still feel vulnerable to some degree. I wasn’t sure if I was ready to share it. As I was sleeping that night, God gave me a dream. I saw myself in a large tank where water had been released, but in the dream I was look to bring the water back. In the morning after waking up, I knew exactly what the dream meant. The article was the water that was given out to all who were ready to receive it, but I wanted to get the water back. This told me that God is the one giving the water and it’s being released via me. I’m the tank. So with that said Mrs. Lynn, I thank you for confirmation. I knew that there was something special about you just from reading your IG Post. God bless you and your family! Stay in the blessed place! Love and Shalom!

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  4. My love, such a beautiful testimony! God has truly tested your faith and it is a joy to behold what HE is doing in you. I understand how personal sharing your story is because of how we may be perceived by people. Keep growing and maturing and sharing Christ’s love wherever He leads you to go.He has already shown you that HE will never ever leave you or forsake you. I love you!

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    1. Hi Cathy! Thank you for your comment. I appreciate you taking the time to read this. I went back and re-read the first couple of paragraphs and corrected some of the typing errors that I made. I should have done that earlier but I had a had time reading it over and over again because of the memories. This is just a little bit of my testimony, there was so much more that happened during those early years. I will continue to share as God leads me to release. Again thank you for your support. It means so much to me. God bless you sweet lady.

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  5. I love this title as God’s been doing some breaking, making and blessing in my life over the past few yrs.

    I’m presently sitting at a hospital waiting for my sister’s second surgery in less than a week’s time. As I’m sitting, praying and singing over her (though she can’t hear me) I’m also thinking about how often ppl misunderstand the instruction, direction, and even the peace that God places in your heart. But if you’ll stay despite what they say, you’ll see the fruit of His Word and promise. Your post confirmed that and some other things as well that have been in my spirit. Thank you for sharing.

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    1. Hi Tacara. Thank you for your comment. I’m sorry about your sister having to undergo two surgeries with in a weeks time. I pray for healing, a speedy recovery, and total restoration for her. I am happy that reading my testimony has encouraged you. I believe that if a person would patiently wait upon the Lord they will see His faithfulness. Faith interacts with trust, patience, obedience and peace in order to see God’s loving hand at work in our lives. God does His part and our part is to trust and believe, expecting to see a favorable outcome. Trouble may come but it doesn’t last always. This too shall pass.

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  6. Beautiful testimony Jeanie, I know the process all to well and I’m thankful even for the broken, painful times because it’s prepared me and is transforming me into who God created me to be! You have a amazing heart sis, God’s goodness and love shines through your life! There is great power in our testimonies, I’m blessed and honored to read such a amazing story! God NEVER fails us even through the most intense storms where there looks like no hope exists, but He is our hope and can not lie! I know without a doubt you are being used in mighty ways Jeanie and it’ll only continue to grow! You’re a blessing to so many and I’m glad to call you a dear friend! I look forward to one day seeing you in the harvest field! Much love always my friend and thank you so much for sharing your amazing story of God’s goodness! I pray He uses you in ways you never fathomed! Blessings and prayers always my dear friend and thank you again!

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  7. Thank you for sharing this Jeanie! I to believe God is calling me to ministry. It’s amazing how He can change your heart to want what He desires for your life. I feel like God has something major for me to do. He shows me things via dreams that actually happen within a short period of time. My mother had the same gift.

    He has been putting me in the lives of individuals who are hurting and enabling me to minister to the broken hearted. I remember praying one night as I started to cry. All of a sudden I started telling God “I’ll do it.” I had no idea what I was agreeing to, but God knew. I have this strong feeling that I will be preaching the gospel to the masses all over the world., please pray for as the spirit moves you and I will do the same ch or you.

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    1. Hi Lionel. Thank you for visiting Jeanie Shepard Ministries. I appreciate your comment. I am excited about your gift and the revelation you have received pertaining to your ministry. It will be exciting to see your ministry develop and grow as your travel all over the world touch hurting people everywhere. As you stated, there are many who are hurting and broken, therefore there is definitely a need for laborer all over the world. I pray prosperity, increase, and success in every area of your life as you move in your ministry call. Blessings to you my brother in Christ. I hope to read all about your travels and miracle as I follow your blog. All glory to God for the marvelous things He has done. Shalom

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  8. Reblogged this on Jeanie Shepard Ministries and commented:

    Hello Friends! It’s been a year since I first shared my personal testimony. I’m sharing it again for those of you who may not have read it. This is very sensitive to my heart; it was difficult to wite and it took many days for me to complete. I’m sharing it again because I feel in my hearts that there is someone who is struggling to make sense of what they are going through right now in their life. Though you cannot see God, I want you to know that God is with you, right in the midst of your storm. Don’t give up.

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  9. God bless you for sharing. I praise God that you continue to overcome. I hope you post more about this in the future. I would love to know more details.

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